Updates

Our last meeting of the book club was lovely, with one other woman and me sitting and talking for hours. I am really grateful to be seeing myself following this project differently than I have done other things in the past. I usually have very high expectations of myself and when I can't meet those expectations I give up. been an 'all or nothing' kind of person. With this book I have just been so much more relaxed. I am taking one small thing from each chapter and applying it to my life and seeing some real changes.

From the first chapter, I took her suggestion, "if a task takes less than 1 minute to do, do it now". What a difference! There are less shoes in the middle of the kitchen, fewer dishes in the sink and coats are hung in the closets rather than on the backs of chairs more frequently. I won't say I never leave things that could be done but that's OK.

From chapter 2 I have been practicing living in less self pity and resentment in my relationships by choosing to do things rather than feeling like I "have to." Little things like making the kids' breakfast before I leave for work for my husband or taking the kid's out so he can practice used to make me feel like our relationship was uneven (even thought it wasn't) and that I was spending a lot of time and energy doing things so that his life could be easier. While I really didn't care for a lot of chapter 2, it did help me to see that I make choices about how I spend my time and energy and that I can do these things because I want to, not expecting something in return, gratitude, love, appreciation, etc.

Since I've been practicing this (and it is practice) I feel like we are both so much happier. Doing things for my husband out of love and a real desire to be a team is changing my attitude in my marriage, with my children and even at work. It feels like finally growing up to be choosing my life instead of feeling pushed around by it.

Looking forward to chapter 3...